Cruelty of the carers: Damning report into home help for the elderly finds neglect so appalling some wanted to die.

Elderly people are being abused and neglected in their homes by the very staff meant to care for them.

In some cases the treatment is so appalling that frail and vulnerable pensioners have been left ‘wanting to die’, a report reveals today.

It comes after studies exposing the shocking standard of care for old people in hospitals and care homes across the country.

The report found that in some cases the treatment is so appalling that frail and vulnerable pensioners have been left ¿wanting to die¿. In one example, a care worker forced a 76-year-old cancer victim to struggle to the kitchen to heat up a meal – because it was claimed health and safety rules meant a helper could not operate a microwave.

Another was put to bed at 2.45pm – while some were even left to starve by refusing help with their meals.

The daughter of one neglected pensioner told the inquiry team: ‘These small acts of cruelty are being enacted, possibly unthinkingly, every day.’

Basic rights: Sally Greengross said elderly people needed to be protected from dehumanizing treatment

The landmark study by the Equality and Human Rights Commission also lifts the lid on appalling physical abuse. But it warns the victims often do not complain for fear of repercussions.

The study also accused councils of being guilty of cruel age discrimination: spending less money on and providing fewer services for pensioners than they would for younger adults with similar care needs.

Appalling neglect of some of the 500,000 older people relying on council and private home helps leaves many of them stuck in their own homes, suffering from ‘pervasive social isolation and loneliness’. The report concluded: ‘Many of these incidents amount to abuses of human rights.

‘The cumulative impact on older people can be profoundly depressing and stressful: tears, frustration, expressions of a desire to die and feelings of being stripped of self-worth and dignity.’

The EHRC report found pensioners’ human rights were being breached in a number of ways:

• Elderly not being given adequate support to eat or drink, in particular those with dementia

• Home helps not carrying out vital tasks such as washing and dressing because of lack of time;

• Talking over older people (sometimes on mobile phones) or patronising them;

• Physical abuse, such as rough handling or unnecessary force.

Funding shortfall: Liz Kendall, Labour’s spokesman for older people, blamed cuts for hitting care for the elderly

Sally Greengross, commissioner for the EHRC, said: ‘It is essential that care services respect people’s basic human rights.

‘This is not about burdensome red tape, it is about protecting people from the kind of dehumanizing treatment we have uncovered.

‘The emphasis is on saving pennies rather than providing a service which will meet the very real needs of our grandparents, our parents, and eventually all of us.

‘Most of us will want to carry on living in our own homes later in life, even if we need help to do so.

‘When implemented, the recommendations from this inquiry will provide secure foundations for a home care system that will let us do so safely, with dignity and independence.’

The report concluded home helps get away with appalling standards because the elderly are frightened to complain, believing it could have repercussions such as them getting an even worse standard of care. It was striking how reluctant older people are to make complaints,’ it said.

‘They do not want to get their care workers in trouble, feared being put into residential care and did not want to “make a fuss”.’

Councils are racked with age discrimination, the report said. Evidence provided to the inquiry found that people over the age of 65 get less money spent on their care than younger people with similar care needs, and get a more limited range of services.

Some town halls’ contact numbers even screen out older people needing home care without passing them on for a full assessment – something which is against the law.

The commission also found people who funded all or part of their care as a result of council means tests often received worse care, because only those who received all their care for free come under the remit of the Human Rights Act.

The inquiry follows a damning report by the Care Quality Commission in May which raised serious concerns about the treatment of older patients in care homes and NHS hospitals. A wave of inspections was ordered to be carried out in 500 care homes for the elderly and 50 hospitals after inspectors found nurses and carers were failing to provide the most basic of necessities.

Similar failings were highlighted earlier this year by the Health Service Ombudsman who cited cases of patients left to become so thirsty they could not cry for help.

Last night, care services minister Paul Burstow said: ‘This Government won’t tolerate poor care. I am determined to root out ageism and bad practice to drive up quality and dignity in care.’

Labour spokesman for older people, Liz Kendall, said Government cuts were pushing the social care system ‘to breaking point’.

THE DAMNING DOSSIER

Today’s report has uncovered dozens of examples of appalling care provided by home helps. Here is a selection of the most harrowing:

Health And Safety Left OAP To Starve.

An able-bodied, healthy 32-year-old female care worker stood and watched a 76-year-old woman with advanced cancer struggle from the lounge to the kitchen to microwave a meal, as the home help said she could not to do it ‘because of health and safety’ – although apparently this did not preclude the worker from dishing up the microwaved meal on to a plate. The pensioner’s daughter said: ‘It is hard to think of a reason or excuse big enough adequately to cover such a fundamental lack of care from one adult to another.’

78-year-old Pushed Back Into Her Chair

One 78-year-old woman described her treatment at the hands of carers: ‘Most of the girls were nasty; they were rough. Rather than say “sit in the chair”, they’ d push me back into the chair, and I didn’t like that. I couldn’t do anything about it. I can’t even walk – they know you’re vulnerable.’

Grim: The report said that pensioners don’t complain about shoddy care because they fear the repercussions

Woman’s Weight Plummeted To 7st

An elderly woman’s weight went down to 7st because carers just left food beside her, even though she was physically unable to feed herself. She had Huntingdon’s disease, which means she needs an hour to swallow her meal and has to ingest 4,000 calories a day – but carers would simply plonk the food down and rush off to the next appointment.

Patient In Her 90s Put To Bed In Afternoon

One woman in her 90s was put to bed at 2.45pm because that fit in with the carer’s time slot. Her daughter recalled: ‘The carers get mum ready for bed at 4.30pm. Mum would prefer this later but the only slot given was after 9.30pm and this was too late for her. Last week one carer arrived at 2.45pm to get her ready for bed.’

Man Made To Shower In Front Of Trainees

One man, aged over 65, found himself being showered in front of a room full of trainees. ‘I have MS and am very severely disabled, and feel my dignity is not being respected when I have several trainees observing quite an intimate routine,’ he said.

Elderly Mother Left In Filthy Bedding

The daughter of a woman in her 80s said: ‘For several weeks mum was not bathed or had her hair washed. One time, carers decided not to do any of her washing any more, even though it was on her care plan, leading to my mum being left in filthy nightwear and clothes and bedding.’

Carer Ignored Blind Man On Visits   

A care worker came round every morning to visit a deaf/blind man called Sam. She made him his breakfast and left it on the kitchen top – but never told him she was there, let alone that his breakfast was in the kitchen. Every morning, the breakfast went uneaten.

Dementia Patient’s Day Without Food

A woman with Alzheimer’s didn’t have anything to eat all day after a carer made her a sandwich, but simply put it in the fridge and told her to eat it at lunchtime. She forgot and did not have anything to eat until her daughter visited that night.

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“WHY OH WHY”  DOES THE MEDIA PERSIST IN REPORTING ON THE NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF LIFE.  ?

After all that has been documented above. I would like to add something positive !

Not all carers should be tarred with the same brush. There are good and bad in all walks of life. The caring profession being no exception. Providing care for the elderly and infirm, is a stressful and demanding vocation, with scant reward.

Upon my return home from hospital after receiving my Liver transplant, my Doctor pressed the “rapid response” button. Within hours people were at my door offering all the help I required. Being an independent man with a dislike of asking others for help. I was most humbled, but grateful for the support I received from the carers, that were assigned to me. I found them  polite, professional and caring.

Living alone, I would not have been able to function, without the good work carried out by my carers. Like an Army at war, there shall always be those that go AWL. So it is with an Army of carers, some shall cast aside the book of rules.  I believe it is these uncaring few, that bring the whole caring profession into disrepute. There shall always be one bad Apple in every barrel.

However, I am very pleased to say, the carers that were assigned to me were of the highest calibre. So I would like very much, to take this opportunity to thank (from the bottom of my heart) “Allied Health Care” and there employes. For all the help that I have been given, during one of the most difficult periods of my life.

Below is a picture of one of the lights that helped me through the darkness. Thank you once again Allied and your carers, for your kindness and consideration. it’s a thumbs up to you and 10 out of 10 to all concerned.

“”Who cares wins”"

Permission to make this picture public, was asked for and granted.

A Man. A Woman. Just Friends?
By WILLIAM DERESIEWICZ
Published: April 7, 2012
 CAN men and women be friends? We have been asking ourselves that question for a long time, and the answer is usually no. The movie “When Harry Met Sally…” provides the locus classicus. The problem, Harry famously explains, is that “the sex part always gets in the way.” Heterosexual people of the opposite sex may claim to be just friends, the message goes, but count on it — wink, wink, nudge, nudge — something more’s going on. Popular culture enforces the notion relentlessly. In movie after movie, show after show, the narrative arc is the same. What starts as friendship (Ross and Rachel, Monica and Chandler) ends up in bed.

There’s a history here, and it’s a surprisingly political one. Friendship between the sexes was more or less unknown in traditional society. Men and women occupied different spheres, and women were regarded as inferior in any case. A few epistolary friendships between monastics, a few relationships in literary and court circles, but beyond that, cross-sex friendship was as unthinkable in Western society as it still is in many cultures.

Then came feminism — specifically, Mary Wollstonecraft, the mother of feminism, in the late 18th century. Wollstonecraft was actually wary of platonic relationships, which could lead too easily, she thought, to mischief. (She had a child out of wedlock herself.) But she did believe that friendship, “the most sublime of all affections,” should be the mainspring of marriage.

In the 1890s, when feminism emerged from the drawing rooms and genteel committees to become a mass, radical movement (the term “feminism” itself was coined in 1895), friendship reappeared as a political demand. This was the time of the “New Woman,” portrayed in fiction and endlessly debated in the press.

The New Woman was intelligent, well read, strong-willed, idealistic, unconventional and outspoken. For her, relationships with men, whether or not they involved sex, had to involve mental companionship, freedom of choice, equality and mutual respect. They had, in short, to be friendships. Just as suffrage represented feminism’s vision of the political future, friendship represented its vision of the personal future, the central term of a renegotiated sexual contract.

Easier said than done, of course. But the notion of friendship as the root of romantic relationships started to seep into the culture. The terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” also began to appear in the 1890s.

We take the words for granted now, but think of what they imply, and what a new idea it was: that romantic partners share more than erotic passion, that companionship and equality are part of the relationship. A boyfriend is a friend, as well as a lover. As for husband and wife, Wollstonecraft’s ideal has long since become a cliché. Who doesn’t think of their spouse — or claim to think of them, or want to think of them — as their best friend?

So friendship now is part of what we mean by love. Still, that doesn’t get us to platonic relationships. For that we needed yet another wave of feminism, the one that started in the 1960s. Friendship wasn’t part of the demand this time, but the things that were demanded — equal rights and opportunities in every sphere — created the conditions for it. Only once the sexes mixed on equal and familiar terms at school, at work and in the social spaces in between — only once it was normal and even boring to see a member of the opposite sex at the next desk — could platonic friendships become an ordinary part of life.

And that’s exactly what has happened.

Friendships with members of the opposite sex have been an important part of my life since I went to high school in the late 1970s, and I hardly think I’m alone. Consult your own experience, but as I look around, I don’t see that platonic friendships are actually rare at all or worthy of a lot of winks and nudges. Which is why you don’t much hear the term anymore. Platonic friendships now are simply friendships. But doesn’t the sex thing get in the way? At times, no doubt. It’s harder for the young, of course — all those hormones, and so many of your peers are unattached. In fact, one of the most common solutions to Harry’s quandary is to have sex and then remain friends. If the sex thing gets in the way, the answer often seems to be to just get it out of the way.

But it doesn’t always get in the way. Maybe you’re not attracted to each other. Maybe you know it would never work out, so it’s not worth screwing up your friendship. Maybe that’s just not what it’s about.

So if it’s common now for men and women to be friends, why do we so rarely see it in popular culture? Partly, it’s a narrative problem. Friendship isn’t courtship. It doesn’t have a beginning, a middle and an end. Stories about friendships of any kind are relatively rare, especially given what a huge place the relationships have in our lives. And of course, they’re not sexy. Put a man and a woman together in a movie or a novel, and we expect the sparks to fly. Yet it isn’t just a narrative problem, or a Hollywood problem.

We have trouble, in our culture, with any love that isn’t based on sex or blood. We understand romantic relationships, and we understand family, and that’s about all we seem to understand.

We have trouble with mentorship, the asymmetric love of master and apprentice, professor and student, guide and guided; we have trouble with comradeship, the bond that comes from shared, intense work; and we have trouble with friendship, at least of the intimate kind. When we imagine those relationships, we seem to have to sexualize them.

Close friendships between members of the same sex, after all, are also suspect. Even Oprah has had to defend her relationship with Gayle King, and as for men and men, forget about it.

I cannot think of another area of our lives in which there is so great a gap between what we do and what our culture says we do. But maybe things are beginning to change. Younger people, having grown up with the gay-rights movement and in many cases gone to colleges with co-ed dormitories, are open to a wider range of emotional possibility.

Friendship between the sexes may no longer be a political issue, but it is an issue of liberation: the freedom to love whom you want, in the way that you want. Maybe it’s time that we all took it out of the closet.

I wonder how many people have “FRIENDS” of the opposite sex ?

and I mean Friends.

Is it possible for friends of different sexes to remain friends. ?

I would say in certain cases the answer is “yes”. But in the vast majority of

cases the answer is “No”

What do you think   ?