366 days.

 

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A milestone in my life.

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Yesterday was my first Anniversary of living without alcohol, yes one entire year.
I have experienced no hardship with dispensing with the habit.
It is as if a switch had been turned on, or off in my brain. My desire for alcohol ceased
the very instant I saw with unbelieving eye’s, the two pigeons egg’s
 that had been discovered by the Ultra sound.
 
I recall walking along the path home from the Hospital, the very same path I had enjoyed
walking along with Cherno countless times. But this day was different. "Very"
I arrived home gripped by shock, I was aware then that my life would never be the same ever again.
I miss the nights of fun and laughter with the lad’s, the pool, the darts and the
crazy midnight choirs. All gone now.
 
I could have continued to drink (as many do) in a vain attempt to escape
the dark thoughts. But I chose to face my future with a clear mind, so with a steely determination
and my faithful buddy Cherno at my side. I tread the black mile with a song of hope
in my heart. Yes I shall "Rage rage for sure against the dying of the light"
 
I am to be admitted to the Freemans Hospital for another blast of Chemo. very soon.
I hope this time my recovery shall be less uncomfortable than previously. "gulp"
But before this, I would so dearly love to walk along a sandy beach somewhere !!!
I am Pisces and always feel relaxed and in tune with myself when I am near water.
Be it pond, lake, river or Ocean, the effect is still the same. 
Just different vistas.
 
Deep peace of the running wave to me.

 

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I snapped the above picture a few years ago.

Little did I know that soon it was to reflect 

A battle of my own.

Kenny.

 

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20 responses to “366 days.

  1. Pathless forest is great pleasure. Lonely beach will enchant the mind. There are the following, with no one too close. Not love people less, but Nature more.

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  2. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!! you are so brave!!! I feel relaxed when I am near water too,I love water because I was born in july so I am cancer .lots of kisses my dear English dreamer.keep fighting!!!!!kisses to cherno the fearless.xxx

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  3. Carrie.I wish you the very best in your endeavour to unearth your true self. I guarantee you shall like very much the person you discover within !!!

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  4. Congradulations Kenny, I too have taken a leave of drinking for the time being. Just felt it was effecting my health too much. Its only been 3 weeks for me. But it something I have used as a crutch for so long. I need to see who I really am without it. It is the first step one can take regarding their health. It was a very wise step you took. Lets work on getting rid of those little pigion eggs now.. May peace and healing be apart of your life now. Take Care Carrie

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  5. Tracy.Thank you for your words of encouragement. Your words may be few, however they have produced in me a wonderful feeling. Take care Tracy and I hope you have taken heed of what I told you yesterday. "quality not quantity" ;)Donna.I think of you a lot also Donna. I know how much you like the water. Your photographs are a great insight into that wonderful land you live in. I regret deeply never to have visited and seen with my own eyes the wild landscape the pioneers of old colonised. Remember the film "The Trap" !!!! It has always been a dream of mine, alas but a dream.I do live near a beach but NOT the one I wish to stroll along :(

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  6. Kenny!I THINK ABOUT YOU ALOT AND KNOW HOW STRONG YOU ARE!You will triumph over this battle! I wish you could be near the Ocean, it is so peaceful but like you just water whether it be a lake a river or a stream, tranquility lingers there!I am so in awe of you taking control of your life and giving up Alcohol but I feel for you, how shocking it must have been to see that Ultra Sound. When this is all behind you, then it will be time to celebrate again and it will be even better without alcohol!Love Always,Donna

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  7. hi kenny just a little note to say am wishing you well and hope all will come goodfor you soonxxx

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  8. Hi Nick. Great to here from you again, yes another 20 anniversary’s would suit me very nicely thank you !But then I think to myself, just what would I do with a 20 year life extension. Or even a 10 year. One thing is for sure I would love to learn to dive like you do. Another world down there for sure. RE: Transplant news.I have composed a blog for future publication, so when the god’s of medication call my name. I can publish it informing everyone that I have gone !!! hope it isn’t to be my last post. lol. I don’t know about my being brave Nick, A transplant is the ONLY coarse of action that can save my life. So actually it is not bravery as such, it is necessity. To be perfectly honest I am crapping myself lol. But don’t tell anyone I told you that :)Good news about your Mum, I hope she she is not on the list for too long. Footy. Mmmmm… you must have heard by now that Lord Triesman has been forced to stepped down from his posts as chairman of the Football Association. Stories of corruption between Russia and Spain. I am sure this kind of skullduggery happens all the time. Well the facts speak for themselves. How many times have we seen England exit the world cup because of one dubious decision during a crucial moment in the game. Well I am off to my cot now, it has been a long day in one way or another. Take care Nick and thanks for stopping by me old matey !

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  9. Hi Kenny, congratulations me old matey! that is a very noteworthy anniversary, hopefully you will have many more of them.I gather there is no news regarding a transplant yet?Good luck with your next battle with chemo, you are a very brave man my friend, my thoughts and prayers are with you.Lots happening here,my mum hasn’t got asny worse thank goodness. She had an angiogram, which showed that is was just her aortic valve that needs replacing , all the other blood vessels appear to be ok, so she is now on the wating list to get it done.We have done a dry suit course ( scuba diving ) which was er….cold, but now means that we can dive over here and not freeze to death :-)..and it also opens up a whole new area of diving for us.Footy wise…..well I think we are all waiting for the same thing – no , not a transplant – the world cup, and the crew of 15 millionaires who are going to their best to disappoint us again ( hopefullycome 11th July, I will be sittingher with a lod of egg on my face, and a shirt with 2 stars on it- and you will be sitting somewhere, a little bit sore, but with a new liver).Keep safe Kenny, and good luck my friend.All the very best wishes to you KennyNick

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  10. Kenny..As Always, A Very Interesting Reply..The Solitary Vampire Is Just A MetaphorBut Thank You For Your Kind Wordage… . . . . . . Be Well KENNY 2DOGS . . . . . . ……… Androgoth – The Goth Prince ……..

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  11. Timid one speaks from the heart :) … There is only one He who runs faster than the wind in this world and it is Timid one’s sincere and genuine hope that every dream and every aspiration that is born from the shimmering seas and oceans that soothe your spirit, might very soon become a wonderful sun-lit reality…. Timid one :)

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  12. Timid one.If your words mean anything, then they mean everything, for without them I mean nothing !!!He who runs faster than the wind, shall soon walk along a sandy beach. There he shall gaze upon the horizon and as the sun Set’s beneath it. He shall understand all there is to understand about just one grain of sand !!! ….. I may even build a Castle :) Androgoth The Goth Prince.Greetings… many Moons have passed since The dark one has visited my humble space and I his. Your words are most welcome. But what is this you say now "solitary" Vampire ! Does not his beloved Jenagoth fly at his side no longer :(lol yes I recall our "jovial interlocking" and I respect to this day you bowing to the demands I placed upon you. It proved to me "and others" just what a fine intelligent Vampire you are. I now release you from those demands. You are now free, you are now a sacred friend you are now Androgoth the one and only True Goth on w.l.s. LET THIS BE KNOWN AMONG ALL MEN. That Kenny shall defend Androgoth up to the hilt, as long as he is upon this Earth. Let no man put asunder the bond now forged between. Androgoth and KENNY 2DOGS. aka. HE WHO RUNS FASTER THAN THE WIND !!! I am sure I can here Ozzy singing somewhere in this dark night. :) It is good to know that you are still out there in the darkness, and the creaking lid of your coffin can still be heard resounding through w.l.spaces. Go in peace my friend and take my deepest respect with you.

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  13. Kenny..A Long Time Has Elapsed Since I Frequented Your Live Space But As I Hath Caught A Glimpse Of Europa Icewolf’s Comment Upon My Updates I Hath Once Again Found Myself Brushing The Pages Of Thy Hunting Ground. The Solitary Vampire That Once Had A Somewhat Jovial Interlocking With Thee Shall We Say? Has Since Moved On But Nonetheless I Do Wish Thee Well In This Ongoing Quest And For What It Is Worth Kenny, My Comment Here On Your Live Space Is Indeed Sincere And So I Say This. Be Well Sir Knight And Never Look Back – Onwards Thou Shalt Travel Into The Depths Of Life Leaving Behind The Uncertainty Of Continuity And In Its Place Rekindling And Reshaping Thy Spirit Into A Whole New Understanding. Be Well.Androgoth – The Goth Prince

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  14. Congratulations Kenny! And you have stood strong and brave like the honoured knights of aulde facing horrible adversity with a courage and determination rarely seen and so all the more deeply respected.You may have more high winds to sail in but I know you’ll stand your ground unshaken. And you will walk again along the sandy beach where the voice of the sea speaks to the soul, and the deep peace of the running wave casts its spell over you, holding you forever in its rippling net, and where every grain of sand is the story of the Earth. Timid one :)

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  15. Yes Sarah, time passes with a terrible swiftness. Just place a shell over your ear, close your eyes and you can pretend you are on a beach. May not feel so home sick then. :)

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  16. Congratulations – it seems unbelievable a year has passed!I miss the sea so much too, I think I might have felt less homesick if we weren’t so far from the sea.Many healing thoughts and hugs xxx

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  17. Thank you for your kind words Lisa. They mean so much to me. Peace as always Lisa.

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  18. Wow . Kenny your a very strong man. One years say alot , your determination will get you through Im sure of it.Keep on going walking that positve road. Thinking about you and the battle that you have over come and then next you will too.Deep Peace of the Running Waves Kenny. Peace today as you have walk a new year .

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  19. Thank you for that Sandy, and long it shall be, thus sayeth Kenny :)

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  20. Well done – long may it be thus.

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