Pain in the neck !

Once again life has dealt me a devastating blow. The Damoclean sword hangs by a hair above me once more. A very real threat to my very existence, showing the precariousness of all life. Again a dark and forbidding cloud has descended, casting my days into long inky black nights. Just what is it that I have done wrong, to warrant this onslaught of misfortune. Is it my destiny to suffer these slings and arrows, one after the deadly other. Untill one finely finds its mark and smites me down to the cold unforgiving Earth !

Last autumn a pain manifested itself in my neck, radiating down my right arm to my fingers. To begin with this pain was bearable and indeed did not interfere with any of my day-to-day activities. I had just recovered from my Liver transplant and subsequent inflammation of the organ and was beginning to enjoy life again. However after a month or so, the pain was still evident. So I took myself off to my G.P. This was the very same G.P. that failed to investigate a blood disorder 3 years ago, that would have revealed that I had Liver cancer. I requested a scan but she denied me this and called for a x/ray instead. The result of which was general ware and tear, she said. Insisting it was only a trapped nerve, she prescribed me painkillers smiled and dismissed me.

Some months passed but still no improvement, so once again I took myself off to the surgery. This time it was a different doctor, as the one I normally see was on holiday in india. (I hoped she was enjoying herself) After reading my medical history this doctor called for a MRI scan immediately and informed me that this should have been called for earlier, as it had been present for so long. Just to “check” that nothing nasty was causing the pain. (this is what my doctor who was on holiday should have done months ago)    The result was not good, the M.R.I. had revealed something growing from the bone between the 3rd and 4th vertebra in my neck and the doctors did not know what it was. “Gulp”. The alarm bells began to sound. The doctor then called for an emergency appointment with a Osteopath, who in turn called for a bone scan.

Both the scan and appointment with the Osteopath were scheduled for the same day. 11th of May. The scan was conducted in the nuclear medical department of the Hospital. Firstly I received an injection containing a radio-active substance. Secondly the scan would be taken 2 hours later and finely I was to be directed to the trauma department to see the Osteopath. There must have been over 30 people waiting in the area and as I had been in the hospital since 11am . I was not looking forward to another lengthy wait. It was now 2:30pm. However I was most pleased to hear my name being called just 10 minuets later.

The Doctor told me That he had been asked to see me as an emergency by my Gp.  He had seen the images of the bone scan that had just been taken and had been studying them.  There on the computer screen I could see the image of my entire skeleton. He clicked to another image and pointed to a dark shadow that could be seen clearly, between the bones in my neck. My heart sank like a stone as I recalled seeing the shadows on my liver for the first time. The Doctor began to describe the things that it may possibly be, in medical terms. But his words sounded like faint echos in my head, as I gazed in shock at this new enemy. However, the words 50-50 chance it is a tumor and a 50-50 chance it is not malignant, crashed onto my eardrums like a clap of thunder. They are still ringing in my ears  at this very moment. I also recall him saying ” It was a very complicated case because the offending shadow was so high in the neck”  Mmmm… “complications”  not one of my favourite words 😦  Now I have more appointments to deal with, Ultrasounds/ETC and another M.R.I. in about 3 months time, to see if the little monster has grown. If it “has” grown then it “is” a tumor the doctor said.

 ” I waited 18 month not knowing if my time had come after the tumors on my liver were discovered. So I can handle waiting another 3 month to discover if this is a similar scenario.

  All this is on top of my regular visits to my kidney consultant to receive Lithrotripsy treatment and visits to the Freeman’s hospital to see my liver consultant, to give blood and receive my anti rejection tablets.  It’s all a pain in the neck !!!

I have not been the best of company during this difficult period, and indeed have been down right insulting to some. So I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologise, from the bottom of my heart. To those I may have offended. I now ask for their forgiveness and hope they can now appreciate the reasons for my belligerence of late.  It would appear that I have become a master at sabotaging my own happiness. Inexplicable me, I guess.

Kenny  !

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14 responses to “Pain in the neck !

  1. So sorry to hear this Kenny, thinking of you keep yer pecker up maty! you have done really well so far

    Susan x

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  2. Dear Kenny, This is hard news, and I’m sorry to hear it. You are a tough old bird (is that the wrong slang for British English?) and will make it through. I’m glad you shared this with your friends on WordPress. In the meantime, I’m hoping the road to good health is short and straight.

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  3. Words fail me Kenny, and that’s a rare thing, but what can one say when they are confronted with such uncomfortable words and can do nothing. Please accept these few words, Get well soon. thinking of you.

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  4. So sorry to hear this Kenny, talk about a kick in the teeth after everything else you’ve been through already. Not knowing exactly what you’re dealing with as yet can’t be helping either. Even the most scary scenarios are often a little less hairy when you can put a name to them and you know exactly what you are preparing to battle against. Be of good courage my friend. You have fought and beaten a most fearful of enemies already. Whatever it is you have to face now I am certain you will flay it and banish it back to the darkness from whence it came. May wolf walk ever beside you and give you rest in his shadow…
    Timid one x

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    • That is precisely it Timid one, NOT KNOWING just what it is that is growing. Yes I have been here before and I intend to beat this one just as I did the last. I have had time to think about things over the weekend, and have calmed down some. Just the waiting now to deal with. Thank you for your support Timid one it means a lot to me.
      Take care !

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  5. Some more evidence for you Kenny … Positive Thinking.. and love and Healing to you ..

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    • Yes I have seen this before some time ago. Just can’t get my mind round it, you are correct I’m just an old sceptic. Can’t help it, it’s embedded in my genetic makeup. But thank you Sue for the thought x

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  6. Hi Kenny, awww I am so sorry that yet another Hurdle has presented itself in you life my friend.. My healing thoughts are with you and are being sent with much love to heal..
    I know you can be a little sceptical of things Kenny, But I would ask that you read a True story .. Cancer- if that is what it is, Can be beaten.. Using our Minds over Matter.
    Here is One such well known story..
    http://www.lightconnection.us/Archive/dec06/dec06_article5.htm
    And I will be back with more evidence .. Sending you a Big (( Hug)) my friend.. ~Sue xx

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    • The light connection…I am sure people gain comfort and help from such stories and ideas. But you know me so well after all these years Sue. I look into myself for answers. But comments like yours from people I know are so heart warming. Knowing that you are there during times like this, is such a great comfort to me.
      Love and peace to you my wise friend. xx

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  7. Sending out healing hugs and thoughts, we’ve just had a similar experience and are waiting for TigrX to be called back yet again, sometimes it just feels like it’s unending. I’m praying hard that for both of you these will just be minor problems xxxxx

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    • Sorry to here about Tigrx. What ever it is that is growing in my neck shall involve complicated invasive surgery. With “risks. “Minor problem” Mmmmm,..I don’t believe in miracles.
      Be well my friend and thank you for your kind words. x

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