2nd-10th-13th. OH DEAR ME.

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YOU SCARED THE LIFE OUT OF ME THEN MOTHER .

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Not yet  !!!

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Oh well, it is that time of year once more. The first 2 weeks of March are always emotionally charged for me. A sentimental fortnight of feeling flat. Tomorrow is my late Brother’s Birthday, he would have been 69 year old. He died tragically in 19-73. Terry was 29 at the time of his fall. Oh  so long ago but still, he lives and thrives within me. Although he was my half Brother, I loved him, while the opposite can be said of my evil farther. Terry was 5 years older than me, and I looked up to him. He was my protector, and when the news reached me of his tragic accident, I learned about the powerful effects of pure grief.

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 Just 8 days after Terry’s Birthday, it is my own on the 10th. I am NOT impressed at the rapidity with which these Birthdays are arriving. No sooner has one departed, than another looms upon the horizon, it seems.  Coincidentally this year, Mothers day falls on my Birthday. This is like a double whamming. Mother loved me and she helped me so much when my life took a turn for the worse. I owe her so much and I miss her like the flowers  miss the rain.  Then on the 13th, it is my Daughter’s Birthday. She who is so far away.  😦     I was present at her birth in 1973, something a Farther “never” forgets.

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So you see the first 2 weeks of March are quite uncomfortable for me but I put myself through it every year, it is like a ritual I must perform. I recall at this time of year I would stun myself with alcohol, in order to escape the unhappiness, along with the tormenting  ghosts of my passed. But not now, now is different. I have abstained from drinking alcohol for 3 years in May. I have learned now, how to pass through and emerge  beyond times of trauma, without resorting to the demon drink. The sooner this flat period is over, then the better I shall feel. Hopefully by then, the weather shall have picked up, along with my spirit.  🙂

COME THE SUN- COME THE FUN.

Kenny.

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14 responses to “2nd-10th-13th. OH DEAR ME.

  1. GUTEN MORGEN KENNY DANCKE FUER DEINEN BESUCH FREUE MICH IMMER DICH ZU LESEN IN EINEM JAHR HABE ICH 26000 BILDER GEMACHT ES WIERD NUN ETWAS SCHWERER SIE ZU GESTALTEN MEIN KOPF MUSS ARBEITEN UM NEUE IDEEN ZU BEKOMMEN ABER ES GLUECKT NOCH ALLE TAGE UND ICH FREUE MICH DAS IHR ES AXEPTIEHRT UND BEURTEILT WUENSCHE DIR EIN TOLLES WOCHEN ENDE LIEBE GRUESSE VON JASMIN DAMARO

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    • Hallo Jasmin Damaro. Meine ganzen Wochenenden sind „verrückt“ hahahaha. „Neue Ideen“ ja ja ja… Denken und Denken. Wir müssen Inspiration haben. Aber wo wir macht, finden es, unter dem Chaos dieser Welt. ? Sie sind eine sehr „besondere“ Dame Jasmin Damaro. Kenny2dogs:)

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  2. Dear Kenny, I’m so happy to be reading this in time to wish you a very Happy Birthday!! March 10 – a very fine day. And look how far you have come, avoiding alcohol for 3 years. That is something to be proud of. Your brother’s death, Mother’s Day, your daughter far away on her BD. Better to be dearly attached and miss them greatly than the opposite. Health and long life to you, my friend.

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    • Thank you for the bd wishes Monica. Well yes I could never imagine me ever becoming unattached, from my loving memories and thoughts, of the 3 most important people in my World.
      Health and long life to you also, my dear far away friend.

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  3. Kenny, these anniversaries are such difficult times. As you say, times for reflection and ultimately to be got through. Very sad to read of the loss of your brother all those years ago – these things never leave us, though, and really we wouldn’t want them to. So thrilled to witness your upcoming 3 years and glad to have found you in this cyber world. The sun has come out for you today and more is coming along with the crocuses: to better days. Take good care my lovely friend 🙂 🙂

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    • During these flat times, I feel like I am becalmed on a motionless Ocean. But after Lisa’s Birthday on the 13th, A rising wind shall fill my sails. I just need to decide what point on the compos I should set them.
      Take good care Ruth and keep smiling. 😉

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  4. A lovely post despite the sad circumstances surrounding it. This time of year does nothing to enhance the mood either and gives little time to get out and about to enjoy life and remember the good times. But we’re into March now and heading for the right side of spring and new life 🙂 Hopefully I won’t forget the long list of birthdays coming up this month, having done just that last month…oops! Congratulations on your 3 years alcohol abstinence in May…a striking though for Timid one in light of the fact that it will be 2yrs this year in May that I lost my much loved Aunt (my mum’s sister) to alcohol induced liver failure – she had a big addiction to alcohol and despite a long battle to conquer it and being a real fighter sadly she didn’t make it through. Having seen what alcohol can do to the human body – I didn’t even recognise her the last time I saw her – it destroyed her body – I cannot understand how the world can take such a tolerant attitude to this dark substance of destruction. But it is all the more reason why we who are left should live life to the full and be thankful even when we are are sad 🙂
    Take care Kenny… Timid one 🙂

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    • and a lovely comment to compliment the post Timid one. Sad story about your Aunt, If only we knew then what we know now. This “dark substance” that shortens lives has been with us for thousands of years. Like tobacco it is impossible to calculate just how many people it has destroyed. In Sweden one is obliged to stand in a Que at System bolaget. (like a off licence) You can only buy alcohol from there, no other shops can sell it. Very strict control, but they have a bigger problem with abuse than England. :/
      have a great weekend Timid one and steady on the juice 😉

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  5. Kenny sorry about the loss of your brother at such a young age.. It must have been a difficult time..
    But what Is so great about this is that you who have come through so much are living proof that May is a wonderful Month.. Im looking forward to May too… its the month of my own birthday… I will be around again if not sooner around the 10th 😉
    My Son was born in 75 and Daughter in 77…
    Happy Birthday to you just in case I forget.. LOL.. My age is at that age where I need to write things down….. LOL 🙂
    Have a great Weekend Kenny
    Sue

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    • Hi Sue, well yes I have been through the mill over the passed few years. I have experienced negligent young doctors, stabbing needles into places where they shouldn’t. penetrating the sheath that carries the nerve within. Scream’s coming from the I.C. area, that seemed only an injured beast of the forest could produce.
      It was all part of the awful procedure of saving my life. Yes it was a struggle at times, but i had lots of support from people. People called me at the Hospital, after I was out of I.C. They text me and sent me get well cards. All these people helped with my recovery. The kindness that people showed will never be forgotten.

      My age is at that age where I “forget” to write things down 😉
      Have a wonderful weekend yourself Sue.

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  6. Hi Kenny! I thik you will find like me that the more Birthdays you have the quicker they come around! Remember the good things and have a Happy Birthday

    Susan x

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  7. Kenny,,,Keep smiling,and remember the good times,,,,it helps,x

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