YOU SCARED THE LIFE OUT OF ME THEN MOTHER .
Oh well, it is that time of year once more. The first 2 weeks of March are always emotionally charged for me. A sentimental fortnight of feeling flat. Tomorrow is my late Brother’s Birthday, he would have been 69 year old. He died tragically in 19-73. Terry was 29 at the time of his fall. Oh so long ago but still, he lives and thrives within me. Although he was my half Brother, I loved him, while the opposite can be said of my evil farther. Terry was 5 years older than me, and I looked up to him. He was my protector, and when the news reached me of his tragic accident, I learned about the powerful effects of pure grief.
Just 8 days after Terry’s Birthday, it is my own on the 10th. I am NOT impressed at the rapidity with which these Birthdays are arriving. No sooner has one departed, than another looms upon the horizon, it seems. Coincidentally this year, Mothers day falls on my Birthday. This is like a double whamming. Mother loved me and she helped me so much when my life took a turn for the worse. I owe her so much and I miss her like the flowers miss the rain. Then on the 13th, it is my Daughter’s Birthday. She who is so far away. 😦 I was present at her birth in 1973, something a Farther “never” forgets.
So you see the first 2 weeks of March are quite uncomfortable for me but I put myself through it every year, it is like a ritual I must perform. I recall at this time of year I would stun myself with alcohol, in order to escape the unhappiness, along with the tormenting ghosts of my passed. But not now, now is different. I have abstained from drinking alcohol for 3 years in May. I have learned now, how to pass through and emerge beyond times of trauma, without resorting to the demon drink. The sooner this flat period is over, then the better I shall feel. Hopefully by then, the weather shall have picked up, along with my spirit. 🙂
COME THE SUN- COME THE FUN.